Fall decor

Autumn is my favorite season when it comes to decorating. I love the rich, warm tones and satisfying color combinations. Geneve and I have been having too much fun decorating together.






Are not the bookends cute?!



This would be on top of the refrigerator in our bedroom. It's called making the best of what you have. :)

Sigh...I just love fall!

...and the blogger emerges.

New York, it's been close to a month.

And I think I am ready to write about it.

New York is growing on me. I think I want to belong here. I kinda like the quiet neighborhood where I live, but in a way I wish it was more of a front porch culture. The other side of our street is lined with apartment buildings. Mostly when you see people is when you or they are walking down the street.

This walking thing, I don't know. If I'm not going to talk to or make eye contact with anyone else as we rush about our respective business, I'd rather drive. That way it doesn't seem so queer that all of us are wrappped up in our own little worlds as we go about this thing called life. I keep wondering how Jesus would live in this neighborhood.

What I personally do with most of my time is...hang out with two year olds (and a few sweet babies). Seriously. I am hopelessly in love with this bunch of adorable, messy, rumbunctious kiddos. They try my patience, stretch me to the limit, and capture my heart.

I think this city is already stealing my heart. But I miss home, a lot lot.

God is so good to me (and you should have heard a cute little boy singing that song under his blanket today when he was supposed to be sleeping. He's going back to Argentina the end of this month. We'll miss him!)

God Will.

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.


By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.


By the way, I recently downloaded this song off of this album on Amazon. What a song. It gives me shivers.

Leaving.

My apologies for the lack of posts.

My life has been a little crazy.

And now, I have only one day left at home instead of three, like I thought. I'm spending the next week with my grandparents, and without internet.

So the next time I post I'll probably be in New York.

I would love your prayers.


My favorite verses right now:

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness."
(Lamentations 3:23)

Somehow, that gives me perspective. And I am amazed.

Why don't we care?

It’s the question that keeps coming back to me. That persistent voice telling me that something is wrong. Sometimes I try to silence the nagging. But it doesn’t help for long; in fact, it makes things worse. Maybe some of my perceptions are wrong, but I have to ask honest questions.

I read about human beings dying for lack of food and water while we consume more than we need, and I wonder.

I read about human trafficking. Humans dying of AIDS. Innocent victims caught in crossfire.

I see pictures of orphans, starving for nourishment and even more for love, and I wonder.

I drive or walk through my own town, and the question resurfaces. So many faces without joy. So many lives without hope. So many people bound by Satan. So many innocent children, suffering. Right here. Where I live.

I wonder.

Why don’t we give more out of our abundance?

Why don’t we wrestle in prayer against the strongholds of darkness?

Why do we feel justified in our hoarding of physical and spiritual blessings?

How can we consider our pleasure more important than people who are dying and going to hell?

Are we too comfortable to be disturbed?

Do we know what it means to be Christ’s hands and feet?

And the question I have been avoiding for too long. Why am I so selfish??

Of heartstrings.

This city has become home to me. I don’t live here, and other towns are closer, but I call Meadville my hometown. I love these streets. The old cobbled bricks, the falling apart mansions, the shops. True, there’s a fair share of shambles and trash, but to me, the beauty far outweighs the trash. (I know…it might not if I lived here.)

But really what I love about this city is the people I know who live here. People who need Jesus…but they teach me so much about Jesus because they are real. They don’t pretend, like I do, that they have it altogether. It’s only when I allow myself to broken, too, that I can bring Jesus to them.

There’s this one housing complex that I especially love. I asked my friend Becca why God is calling me to leave when I love this place so much. She told me, “Rosanne, God gave you that love for a reason, and He can use it even when you aren’t there in person.” Thanks, Becca. I pray that He does, and that others of His people will love this place, too.

And then, there is this charming house where my amazing friend lives. A place where the light of Jesus shines bright. A little family making the presence of Jesus real on these streets. I will miss you, Carla!

I wonder if, and how soon, God will bring me back here. Until then, I hold this city—these people—in my heart.

Blog Makeover

Well, the truth is, I got tired of my blog. Tired of the theme, the pictures, the same-ness. It was getting musty. So I did a blog makeover. On this “new” blog, during a new phase of my life, I hope to share some of my God-moments with you through poetry, prose, and pictures. And I hope (ahem) to post more often than in the previous months.

For those of you who have me on your blogroll: It would be great if you could take a moment to reenter my URL so that my new blog name is displayed on your list. The post titles will still feed into your blog, but unless you reenter the exact same URL in your blogroll, it will be under the old title. Make sense?

What do you say? Do you like the new look?

Excited.

Right now, I’m tired of that word. Everyone says it to me. “Are you excited??!”

Yes, and no. Right now, I don’t love the fact that I’m moving in four weeks. Everyone assumes I’m excited. They may be right. After all, I usually agree nicely, “yes, I am excited.” However, I am not ONLY excited. I am not jumping up and down excited. I am actually very sad about all the beautiful people and places that I am leaving behind. And honestly, the main question I ask myself is, “Am I crazy??”

Let me modify that one statement. I said I am not jumping up and down excited. That means I don’t FEEL super excited. (I said I was sick of that word.)

A lovely girl named Beth showed me something very profound recently. It’s the verse, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5) I’d known the verse for years, but not the way Beth explained it.

She explained it like this: My own understanding of situations in my life is so shallow and limited. I see from a foggy perspective. But God sees the whole picture. I need to trust that His understanding is infinite. To trust that He knows all the best things for me. In His understanding of my life, there is something incredibly beautiful ahead. Something that brings glory to Him and joy to me.

My own understanding, right now, is that I’m leaving almost everyone, every place, everything I love behind. That God is leading me away from my heart. Not that I’m not anticipating my new life* in NYC, but I’m also confused and sad about leaving. But His understanding is so much bigger than mine. And I know that in the big picture, through ways I know not now, He is leading me closer to His heart. And so, I trust. I don’t know what He’s doing. All I know is that He knows what He’s doing.

Maybe, just maybe, I’m not so tired of the word excited after all. What else can you be when you serve such a big God??

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” Psalm 138:8

*For now, my plans are to stay there about a year, but I have a feeling life will never be the same again. (That may very well be a good thing.)

a little child shall lead them

It is impossible to capture a week of VBS in a blog post. I am all at once grateful, excited, challenged, sad, and heartbroken for so many who don't know God. Oh, and exhausted. There are a lot of things I could write, but for now, I just want to share a song that one of my students, a 5-year-old girl, made up and gave to me on a piece of paper Friday night. (Her mom wrote it down for her.) This girl doesn't come from a Christian home; her dad told me he practices all religions because he doesn't know which one is right. I was so touched by this song...things like this make the week more than worthwhile.


God made the sun.

God made the trees.

God made you.

God made me.

God made the day.

God made the animals.

God made the spring.

God made our family.

God's going to give us a new life.

Loving Jesus

"Open our eyes, Lord, we want to see Jesus, to reach out and touch Him, and say that we love Him..."

As I contemplated the beautiful words, I was suddenly startled to realize what I was singing. The words that came to me were, "Inasmuch as you have done it to the least of these my brothers, you have done it to me."

Wait a minute, I thought, I was singing about Jesus! Jesus is the One I love, and of course I long to see Him more clearly, to know Him more intimately. But...Jesus as "the least of these?" I'm not so sure about that.

What if "to reach out and touch Him" could mean getting my hands dirty? Allowing God to break my heart for those He loves, and I tend not to? (Or don't want to because I will get hurt.) The fatherless, the abused, those who have made lousy choices that have taken them miserable places (that I don't want to enter).

John Smucker's sermon this morning, entitled "The Test of Heaven," resurfaced these thoughts in my mind. He preached from Matthew 25: 31-46 where Jesus at the final judgment declares to the righteous, "As you did it to the least of these my brothers, you did it to me," and to the unrighteous, "As you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me."

Of course, I do not have to know people like these...the poor, the prisoner, the sick or anyone else whom I often consider unworthy of my time. I can smile at the people I see in town and consider my Christian duty accomplished. But the fact is, it's not.

As John Smucker said, "Every person is uniquely and individually precious to God." This is why I am asking God to open my heart to those He loves, to give me grace even to seek out those whom He seeks.

You and I have a choice. We can choose not to concern ourselves with the least. Or, we can choose to know more clearly the heartbeat of our precious Savior, and enter into the Kingdom He has prepared for us.

Another quote yet from John Smucker; I can’t promise this is verbatim, but it was to this effect: “In for any community or church to survive, it must care about the needs of its own members and about the needs of the culture around it.”

Grant us, Jesus, the desire to truly see You and express our love for You.

precious in His sight

Four precious sisters who came faithfully to VBS and kids' club are moving away next month. Tonight as I drove through town I stopped at their house with a Bible storybook as a going away present. All four girls were outside and came running to hug me. They had been running through a sprinkler and were sopping wet and adorable! I ran to get my camera and we did an impromptu photo shoot on the sidewalk.

Isaiah 57:15

"For thus says the One who is high and lifted up,
who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
'I dwell in the high and holy place,
and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly,
and to revive the heart of the contrite."


We offer pieces
Broken and shattered
Grateful that this offering
You accept, and love.

A. W. Tozer on the sacrament of living

"We must offer all our acts to God and believe that He accepts them...Let us believe that God is in all our simple deeds and learn to find Him there."

"In order that I may be understood...I would throw into relief the practical implication of...the sacramental quality of every day living. Over against its positive meanings I would like to point out a few things it does not mean.

"It does not mean, for instance, that everything we do is of equal importance with everything else we do or may do. One act of a good man's life may differ widely from another in importance. Paul's sewing of tents was not equal to his writing of an epistle to the Romans, but both were accepted of God and both were true acts of worship. Certainly it is more important to lead a soul to Christ than to plant a garden, but the planting of the garden can be as holy an act as the winning of a soul."

--A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!" Isa. 6:3

for your enjoyment

Lately I've been enjoying...

• lilacs

• My philosopher-brother reading Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories
  [Excerpt from "Alan and the Attic"]
  

(Alan, who is not allowed in the attic, is walking on the rafters. Mother hears creaking noises overhead.)

"'Alan!' she cried. 'Come on down at once!'

"He came, but not the way she expected.

"Suddenly there was a loud crack as part of the ceiling fell and hit mother on the head. Then two feet appeared, followed by two legs and the rest of Alan....

"Of course, when Daddy came home and saw the awful mess he had to clean up--well, Alan felt something worse than splinters. And this hurt wasn't in his hands!"

• my beautiful sisters

featuring the 4th sister ;)

So many places
Haunting faces
Hungry hearts
Reaching hands...

Jesus, show me where to serve
I follow You.
My life is not my own;
I belong to You.

My hands are Yours;
Use them to serve.
My feet
Are yours—I’ll go.

My heart is Yours
To be filled
With your burdens
And bleed for those You love.

I cannot choose where to go
I am Yours
Lead me, guide me
Show me Your path.

I will follow You
Because I love You
King of the universe,
King of my heart.

Amen.

Easter joy

Far back as I can remember, spring has been my favorite season. I am enchanted with new beginnings: sunrises, daffodils, and resurrection. This time of year I usually feel like singing “Pippa’s Song”:

The year's at the spring
And day's at the morn;
Morning's at seven;
The hillside's dew-pearled;
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in his heaven...
All's right with the world.

-Robert Browning

And of all this newness, this beauty, this joy, Easter morning is the crown.

Yet this year, as I look forward to Easter Sunday, I am repeatedly reminded that all is not right with the world. My friend finds herself in an extremely difficult situation, a child I love is hurt by her parents’ choices, and a member of my youth group faces possibly lifelong restrictions to his ministry because of a false accusation. Just last evening a dear friend’s beloved Grandpa died. I find myself tempted to doubt what I wrote in my post on spring a few weeks ago. What is God really up to? Where is the possible good in these situations?

But then, why Easter? This God chose not only to become one of us but to take upon Himself our suffering and sin.

He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:3

In taking our mess upon Himself, He has given us the victory. Because Jesus ultimately conquered the powers of darkness, though they still rage in the world around us we have hope.

No, the answer is not easy. Truly creation groans for the day when things are made right forever. But I am grateful for a joy which transcends the happiness that is dependent on circumstances.

This joyful Eastertide, away with sin and sorrow!
My Love, the Crucified, has sprung to life this morrow.
Had Christ, that once was slain, ne’er burst His three-day prison,
Our faith had been in vain; but now hath Christ arisen.

-George Ratcliffe Woodward

my sweet emily

Go

The message in this video is from Jackie Pullinger, a servant of Christ who literally gave up everything to minister to drug addicts and gang members in Hong Kong. Remember to turn off the music in my sidebar to listen to the video.






Although not every one of us is called to go overseas, nevertheless we must go...

Where is Jesus calling you to go?

"We aren't sentenced to death; we're just privileged to answer His call." --Jackie Pullinger

Flowers

"Everyone needs beauty as well as bread" --John Muir

Signs of Spring

Winter is coming to end. The official first day of spring is only a week away. (Cheers!!)

Nature speaks so eloquently of God’s faithfulness, but especially so in the spring. Regardless of how drab the winter may have appeared, God was at work. And no matter how often I disbelieve the promise of its arrival, spring always comes.

In more ways than one my winter has been long and barren.You know those long periods where God is at work in your life but you don’t see much outward evidence? Similar to the budding life encased inside the earth during a long winter, the great Artist is at work underneath despairing circumstances. And I know now that the trials have not been for nothing. Signs of blossoming emerge, and I rejoice. Spring is coming.

The budding pussy willows and eagerly growing daffodil and tulip shoots reaffirm my excitement. I am reminded of the words of the psalmist, “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” (Ps. 30:5)

If your winter, too, is growing wearisome and the voice of despair is clamoring at your door, don’t give in.

God is up to something awesome!