Why don't we care?

It’s the question that keeps coming back to me. That persistent voice telling me that something is wrong. Sometimes I try to silence the nagging. But it doesn’t help for long; in fact, it makes things worse. Maybe some of my perceptions are wrong, but I have to ask honest questions.

I read about human beings dying for lack of food and water while we consume more than we need, and I wonder.

I read about human trafficking. Humans dying of AIDS. Innocent victims caught in crossfire.

I see pictures of orphans, starving for nourishment and even more for love, and I wonder.

I drive or walk through my own town, and the question resurfaces. So many faces without joy. So many lives without hope. So many people bound by Satan. So many innocent children, suffering. Right here. Where I live.

I wonder.

Why don’t we give more out of our abundance?

Why don’t we wrestle in prayer against the strongholds of darkness?

Why do we feel justified in our hoarding of physical and spiritual blessings?

How can we consider our pleasure more important than people who are dying and going to hell?

Are we too comfortable to be disturbed?

Do we know what it means to be Christ’s hands and feet?

And the question I have been avoiding for too long. Why am I so selfish??

Of heartstrings.

This city has become home to me. I don’t live here, and other towns are closer, but I call Meadville my hometown. I love these streets. The old cobbled bricks, the falling apart mansions, the shops. True, there’s a fair share of shambles and trash, but to me, the beauty far outweighs the trash. (I know…it might not if I lived here.)

But really what I love about this city is the people I know who live here. People who need Jesus…but they teach me so much about Jesus because they are real. They don’t pretend, like I do, that they have it altogether. It’s only when I allow myself to broken, too, that I can bring Jesus to them.

There’s this one housing complex that I especially love. I asked my friend Becca why God is calling me to leave when I love this place so much. She told me, “Rosanne, God gave you that love for a reason, and He can use it even when you aren’t there in person.” Thanks, Becca. I pray that He does, and that others of His people will love this place, too.

And then, there is this charming house where my amazing friend lives. A place where the light of Jesus shines bright. A little family making the presence of Jesus real on these streets. I will miss you, Carla!

I wonder if, and how soon, God will bring me back here. Until then, I hold this city—these people—in my heart.

Blog Makeover

Well, the truth is, I got tired of my blog. Tired of the theme, the pictures, the same-ness. It was getting musty. So I did a blog makeover. On this “new” blog, during a new phase of my life, I hope to share some of my God-moments with you through poetry, prose, and pictures. And I hope (ahem) to post more often than in the previous months.

For those of you who have me on your blogroll: It would be great if you could take a moment to reenter my URL so that my new blog name is displayed on your list. The post titles will still feed into your blog, but unless you reenter the exact same URL in your blogroll, it will be under the old title. Make sense?

What do you say? Do you like the new look?

Excited.

Right now, I’m tired of that word. Everyone says it to me. “Are you excited??!”

Yes, and no. Right now, I don’t love the fact that I’m moving in four weeks. Everyone assumes I’m excited. They may be right. After all, I usually agree nicely, “yes, I am excited.” However, I am not ONLY excited. I am not jumping up and down excited. I am actually very sad about all the beautiful people and places that I am leaving behind. And honestly, the main question I ask myself is, “Am I crazy??”

Let me modify that one statement. I said I am not jumping up and down excited. That means I don’t FEEL super excited. (I said I was sick of that word.)

A lovely girl named Beth showed me something very profound recently. It’s the verse, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5) I’d known the verse for years, but not the way Beth explained it.

She explained it like this: My own understanding of situations in my life is so shallow and limited. I see from a foggy perspective. But God sees the whole picture. I need to trust that His understanding is infinite. To trust that He knows all the best things for me. In His understanding of my life, there is something incredibly beautiful ahead. Something that brings glory to Him and joy to me.

My own understanding, right now, is that I’m leaving almost everyone, every place, everything I love behind. That God is leading me away from my heart. Not that I’m not anticipating my new life* in NYC, but I’m also confused and sad about leaving. But His understanding is so much bigger than mine. And I know that in the big picture, through ways I know not now, He is leading me closer to His heart. And so, I trust. I don’t know what He’s doing. All I know is that He knows what He’s doing.

Maybe, just maybe, I’m not so tired of the word excited after all. What else can you be when you serve such a big God??

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” Psalm 138:8

*For now, my plans are to stay there about a year, but I have a feeling life will never be the same again. (That may very well be a good thing.)

a little child shall lead them

It is impossible to capture a week of VBS in a blog post. I am all at once grateful, excited, challenged, sad, and heartbroken for so many who don't know God. Oh, and exhausted. There are a lot of things I could write, but for now, I just want to share a song that one of my students, a 5-year-old girl, made up and gave to me on a piece of paper Friday night. (Her mom wrote it down for her.) This girl doesn't come from a Christian home; her dad told me he practices all religions because he doesn't know which one is right. I was so touched by this song...things like this make the week more than worthwhile.


God made the sun.

God made the trees.

God made you.

God made me.

God made the day.

God made the animals.

God made the spring.

God made our family.

God's going to give us a new life.